Expect the unexpected. Just when you thought I couldn’t find anything weirder for my Awesomely Weird Alibaba Electric Vehicle of the Week column, a gem like this rises to the surface. This week we’re blowing past all the funny cars and odd-shaped boats for something truly unique: A treadmill that you can ride to the coffee shop.

As usual, I have no idea what to call this thing.

The vendor calls it an electric treadmill walking bike, but that doesn’t really seem to do it justice.

The electric treadmill part fits, as does the walking. But a bike? Maybe a scooter, but even then we’re pretty much working in unchartered territory here. The only other four-wheeled electric scooter I’ve seen was distinctly more badass than this one.

But that’s what happens when you let the brave and creative design without limits. You wind up with a treadmill on wheels. Powered wheels, even.

And as our Russian model lady demonstrates, this thing has some boogie in it too.

It cruises along at speeds of up to 20 km/h (12 mph), which is about as fast as I’d want to ride a treadmill. I’m also assuming that’s the speed of the wheels and not the speed of the belt, but this is really an anything-goes kind of situation here. So don’t wager too heavily in any one direction.

You might think the treadmill was powered by the walking action, which would somehow both make sense and be utterly illogical. But no, it’s actually got an electric motor in there powered by a 550 Wh battery.

It seems you can simply drive the treadmill like a four-wheeled electric scooter, and then you can also engage the treadmill function to get some exercise on your way.

Now I know what you’re thinking: “If you’re going to walk while on your way somewhere, why don’t you just walk there to begin with?” And that’s a reasonable question.

Period. No “buts.” This is just a very weird device that makes no sense. I’m right there with you; I don’t get it.

But you know what’s even more important than how illogical this whole exercise is? The fact that it’s pretty darn cheap, at just $680. It’s hard to find a decent normal scooter for that price. Or a decent treadmill, for that matter. Fortunately though, this thing is likely neither a decent scooter nor a decent treadmill, helping keep that price nice and affordable.

The best part about this whole thing though is the demonstration video they include on the sales page. Check it out below, and then let’s break it down.

There’s so much to love here. First of all, after sitting through six second of titles that I don’t understand, we’re greeted with the most appropriate music I can imagine for a product like this.

Next, we get about nine clips in four seconds showing brief spurts of functionality. If that’s not a proof of concept, I don’t know what is.

By 0:11, our model seems to have given up riding the thing and has just parked it to use it as a stationary treadmill.

At 0:15, that seems to have gotten old, so now she’s just riding it around like a scooter without any treadmill action at all. Lazy much?!

My favorite part comes just one second later at 0:16, when our hero takes over for the model to give us one long (eight second) clip of the thing actually in use. The only problem is the poor fellow looks like he’s struggling to make smooth turns while walking at grandma speed. Perhaps controlling a leaning vehicle while shifting balance between feet out of sync with real world turning isn’t the most stable vehicular operation method after all?

By 0:25 we’ve joined our model again, but her world is slowly getting turned upside by the silliness of this entire operation.

0:29 Aaaaaaand scene!

Phew, that was a whirlwind of cinematic excitement.

So let’s chalk this one up as another one of the Awesomely Weird Alibaba Electric Vehicles of the Week that won’t be joining my personal collection. It’s tempting at just $680, and lord knows I’ve got just about every other electric scooter or rideable out there. But some things are just a bit too weird for me.

Don’t me stop you though from trying out this innovation in personal fitness/mobility. If anyone happens to pick one up, just give me a call. I’ll meet you for a jog in the bike lane.

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